Ever since Claire was a toddler, people have pointed out our similarities. We've been confused as sisters more times than I can count and the comments "she looked just like you when you did that," or "you remind me of Claire when you make that face," will forever echo in my memories. Whether it's our cute little noses, our pout we make when we lose at a game, or the things that make us anxious, my cousin and I are basically one and the same person; she is my mini-me.
As we get older, the similarities keep coming, but we now tend to encourage them a bit more. Maybe we have the same style of glasses. Maybe we got our hair cut to the same length. Maybe we'll ask my mum to do our hair the same way. Since both of us only have brothers it's fun to have someone to do girly things with or to pose for pictures with. We have embraced the fact that we are twins born nine years apart by different parents.
Even the similarities we can't control make me feel a sense of pride, as if we accomplished something by looking like sisters. Whenever I can teach her something or learn from her, I feel just that little bit closer to being a real big sister.
The title of 'big sister' immediately takes me to the idea of being a role model. I have noticed on occasion that Claire likes to point out that we're wearing a similar outfit or that her face lights up when I say "fine, I'll go for a swim too." At first it didn't occur to me that these things were due to an admiration for me; her oldest female cousin, her babysitter, the person she has been compared to for her entire life. I never really imagined that I would be someone that a young girl could look up to or strive to be like, but it's not a role I would turn down.
It gives me something to strive for as a role model. I want to be someone she is proud to be compared to. I want to be someone that she'll come to when she has a crush or friend drama. I want to take her on shopping trips or out for coffee even if neither of us have money or drink caffeine. I want to fill every role a big sister is meant to fill, whether it be inspiring her, encouraging her, helping her or even bugging her. It gives me a sense of purpose.
It's a particular form of confidence booster for me when Claire gets all shy and giggly after someone tells her "Bethie used to do that too," or when she googles the Korean translation of "hello, how are you" and writes it out to send me a picture just because she knows I'm studying Korean at school. She wants to be like me, that must mean I'm doing something right.
I will always be proud of her, She will always be proud of me. She's the little sister I never asked for, She's my perfect mini-me. - Bethany Duberville
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