I got the idea of starting a blog from my mum. She always has amazing ideas and she has suggested to me on occasion that putting my thoughts in writing may be a useful way of managing my anxious thoughts. The more I though about it, the more I liked the idea.
As I thought about it even more, however, I started imagining a blog with thousands of subscribers waiting on the edge of their seats for the next post, whether it be something silly or serious. The idea of that was both exciting and terrifying.
I tend to talk myself out of things. In all truthfulness, this blog has been ready and waiting to be published for over a month now. The reason I have left it sitting as a draft until now is because I knew that it could go one of three ways.
1. I publish the website, a few friends and family members see it and tell me they think it's awesome that I'm starting a project such as this one. They keep up with my posts for a few weeks, maybe a few months, then they move on and focus on their daily lives.
2. I publish the website, keep at it no matter the workload or stress, and fight until it's a successful blog, maybe even with a bit of income. I put effort and maybe even some money into the blog until I become one of those bloggers that gets brand deals and everyone wonders how they have their life so together.
3. I publish the website, may update it for a couple weeks, then gradually stop bothering to even check if anyone has visited the website. It becomes another project that I start out with a full tank, but quickly run out of steam and abandon.
As I started creating posts for the blog so it wasn't just a blank page with some "about me" statements to look at, I kept thinking about how entertaining it would be for people to read. I was telling myself that I had to twist my thoughts into some sort of lesson so that people could actually get something out of reading the posts.
What I'm currently thinking, as I've just convinced myself to hit the publish button and immediately my best friend has subscribed and commented and shared the link saying that she's proud of me, is that it shouldn't matter which of these possibilities ends up becoming reality. It shouldn't matter if a post is just telling a personal story without any particular lesson to teach. The purpose of this blog was for me to have a place to sort out and share my thoughts with whoever is interested, and I'm realising now that it's actually live, that that is all I have to keep in mind when I'm typing.
Nobody else has any set standard or expectation for this site other than myself, and I am my harshest critic.
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